


Sasuke's Pie Theory!

by Lady_Blade_WarAngel



Series: Crack Fic Madness One-Shots! [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - Crack, Complete crack, Emotional Trauma, Explicit Language, Implied Explicit Sex, M/M, Mental Scarring, Pie, Pie Hate, This is Why You Shouldn't Peek Through Windows, Voyeurism, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-09 00:07:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4326102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Blade_WarAngel/pseuds/Lady_Blade_WarAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sakura tries to give Naruto pie. Sasuke intervenes, because he believes pie is evil. Now WHY would he think that?</p><p>(this is for sweet-hinatachan123 from ff.net, who asked me to write something about pie. So here it is. If you have a penname on here sweet-hinatachan123, then let me know so I can gift this to you properly LOL!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sasuke's Pie Theory!

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sweet-hinatachan123 (ff.net)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=sweet-hinatachan123+%28ff.net%29).



> This is completely crazy crack. In all honesty I don't know how this idea came into existence. But once again, please don't take it seriously. That's what crack is for. LOL! I hope that you get a laugh out of it.

Sasuke’s Pie Theory.

xXxXxXxXxXxXx

Sasuke was walking along past the park after training when he saw Naruto taking a slice of pie from Sakura. Sasuke’s eyes went wide and he ran over towards the pair.

“Noooooooooo!” Sasuke yelled out dramatically, knocking the pie out of Naruto’s hand. It fell on the ground with a splat.

Naruto and Sakura stared at Sasuke for a few moments. For once, Naruto and Sakura, were completely speechless.

“Sasuke, why did you just push the piece of pie I made, out of Naruto’s hands like it was poisoned?” Sakura asked. Sasuke glared at Sakura.

“Evil Sakura! How could you give Naruto pie?” Sasuke exclaimed.

“What’s wrong with pie?” Sakura asked. Naruto nodded, also wondering what was wrong with pie. Sasuke shuddered.

“It’s evil.” Sasuke stated.

“How is it evil?” Naruto asked.

“Because it means doing things that obviously hurt horribly when someone gives you it.” Sasuke stated. He was trembling in almost fear. After all, Uchihas don’t get scared. Sakura and Naruto stared at Sasuke in confusion.

“What do you mean Sasuke?” Sakura asked.

“I’ll prove it. Today is pie day over at Iruka’s house.” Sasuke stated.

“How do you know that? I usually go and get a piece of pie from Iruka-Sensei.” Naruto asked. Sasuke stared at Naruto.

“Nooooooooo! Naruto did Kakashi do anything weird to you?” Sasuke asked, checking the blond over like a mother hen. Naruto and Sakura were extremely confused.

“Sasuke, why would Kakashi-Sensei do anything weird to Naruto?” Sakura asked.

“I will prove the evil of pie to you both.” Sasuke stated. He grabbed hold of Sakura and Naruto by the wrists and pulled them along the street. Naruto and Sakura just complied. After all, this madness had to end at some point. That and they were curious as to what could get under their stoic teammate’s skin so badly.

Soon they arrived at Iruka’s house, and Sasuke told them to climb up into the tree and watch through the windows. Sakura and Naruto both sat silently and waited.

Iruka stuck a giant pie out on the windowsill to cool, and not ten minutes later Kakashi seemed to appear. Naruto and Sakura looked at Sasuke curiously then looked back through the window to see Iruka giving Kakashi a slice of pie.

“They’re just eating pie Sasuke.” Naruto whispered.

“It’s what happens after they eat it that’s scary.” Sasuke stated softly.

After they watched Iruka and Kakashi finish their pie, they saw Kakashi stand up and take the plates to the sink, where he started washing the plates up. Sakura and Naruto were thoroughly confused. After Kakashi finished washing up, he turned around and seemed to be talking to Iruka.

“They’re just being normal. I mean friends can visit each other and eat pie.” Sakura stated softly. Sasuke shook his head.

“It’s not that.” Sasuke hissed. Sakura shook her head still confused. That was when Naruto yelped, and Sasuke stuck a hand over his mouth. Sakura turned back to look in the window, to see Iruka and Kakashi kissing passionately. Her eyes went wide as dinner plates. She saw the pair move up the stairs, shedding clothing all the way.

“W-w-wh-what a-are th-the-they d-d-do-doing?” Sakura stammered out.

“I dunno but I’m scared!” Naruto said. His whole body shaking. Sasuke was also shaking. The three Genin stared on, as the naked pair ended up on the bed, and Iruka started groaning loudly. Naruto’s and Sakura’s jaws dropped.

“He’s hurting my Sensei!” Naruto exclaimed quietly. Tears came to the twelve year olds’ eyes.

“What did Kakashi-Sensei just stick in Iruka-Sensei’s butt?” Sakura almost yelled. The moaning and groaning continued, while the three twelve year olds stared in horror.

What seemed like hours later, the pair were finally finished with their moaning and groaning.

“That looked painful.” Sakura whispered.

“Why would they do that?” Naruto asked. His voice trembled.

“I told you, it’s pie. It’s evil. It does funny things to people. I dunno, because they do this all the time when Iruka makes pie.” Sasuke stated.

“How do you know?” Sakura asked.

“I wanted to see if it was a one off thing or not.” Sasuke stated softly.

Sakura and Naruto nodded gently. They were both dazed, and as they climbed down the tree and wandered off home, the three traumatised Genin knew they would have nightmares about this for a long time.

xXxXxXx THE NEXT DAY xXxXxXx

Kakashi stared at his three students. Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto all had bags under their eyes and looked mildly traumatised. In fact, they’d looked like that since they arrived. Now it was the end of training and Kakashi decided to ask them what was wrong.

“What did the three of you do yesterday?” Kakashi asked them.

“Nothing!” The three exclaimed and ran off quickly. Kakashi blinked and pulled out his Icha Icha book.

“Well, now might be the best time to show them that video on childbirth. They’re already traumatised, as if they’d witnessed me and Iruka having sex, so sex education won’t hurt them.” Kakashi stated to himself, as he wandered off.

**Author's Note:**

> So, you reached the end. I hope that this story made you laugh. Thanks for taking the time to read. (nods)


End file.
